Awesome star wars fanfiction!
by walley2000
Summary: Lilac Hot Foot has awesome space adventures with her true love Luke skywalker and finds out some terrible secrets along the way.


**Awesome star treck fanfiction!**

All characters are 18+ even if stated otherwise. They go by space years which are two of our years for each one.

'Why do they act like preteens if they're 18+ and human?'

Because space radiation makes people act and age younger!... but they'd be 18+ in earth years and that's where it counts if you're in america!

**Chapter 1: A Newer Hope**

It's a warm dark and cold night on the planet of Tatooine. The twin suns rise above the the sandy beach deserts.

Lilac Hotfoot stands brooding. "I just wish i could get off this dirty planet" she screams loudly at no one because she is alone; except for her aunt, uncle, & their ewok lover. (authors not i know the ewoks where played by midgets but that doen't mean that they can be goood lovers, you preppy racist pleb)

"the sandpeople are having a robot sale, why don't you go get one?" said aunty Flem. "O.K." i said mockingly as i drank my blue mulk.

When i got to the sandcrawler i saw a handsome young man named luke skywalker, I knew him from school but never has spoken to him before. "Hey Lilac, in didn'T know you liked robots too!" he said through the shade of his Electric Lights Orchestra teeshirt.

"Yay of course i do, but not as much as i like penis" i said under my breath AND BLUSHINH so hard not realizing what i hads said. His blond hair shined in in desert suns. (authors note, i apologize my caps lock was oooooooooooooon winky smile face lol).

"I laughed, you're so funny" he cried in laughter, im getting these two R2D2 and C3-P0"

"Oh no" i say " i wanted those ones" i began to cry.

"Don't cry" said luke " you can have them, i see they mean so much more to you",

So i took the robots home with me and as i sat there thinking about Luke and his sex Pack (authours note, thats what i call the urethra). I began touching my sex and imaginings luke crawl on ravish me like what the sand people to to little lost girls. And then i saw R2D2 recording me; oh no i thought, now everyone will know how much i love luke and laugh at me at school. I ran to the bathroom and cut myself and put on some bob dylan because he is super cool and my parents think his music is satanic but they're wrong. I cry as the blood covers my naked body in the bathtube, the Midichlorians getting all over the place.

But then i heard a loud crash and aunt Flem, Uncle Gaymen, and their Ewok lover George lucas (yay i called george lucas an ewoke, sue me, i could've written a good solo movie). So i cry and run away so boba fett doesn't disintegrate me either.

As i run i get caught by obi wan, but not gross obiwan, handsome Euan Mcgregor obiwan "hello pretty lady, would you like to cume back to my place for a happy landing?" he asks sexductivly.

And i say omgod you're beatiful saint of a man who was the only redeeming factor in the prequels. And we go back to his place to smash. But before we could r2d2 shows the hologram of me masturbating in my midichlorians accedntly and it's super embrasing.

C3po laughs and says "r2 please remeber the misson and show leia. And r2 decides it would be funny to show leia masturbating so he does and then the sexiest song ever plays (fyi that's take on me by A-Ha) and it gets euan mcgregor in a sexy mood and we smash. And after luke shows up. 'Obiwan how could you, you know i love mary sue" and obiwan says to luke "i know but i was jealous luke, for you are my true love and then they smash while i watch and pleasure my urethra.

But 3p0 is a spoil sport and makes r2 show the hologram of princess lea asking obiwan for help. "I know what needs to be done" says obiwan pulling his sex pack out of luke, let me show you how to kill darth vader. But first, did you ever hear of the tragedy of darth plagueis the wise? No said luke. And then obiwan says in his brooding sexy voice "I thought not. It's not a story the public education system would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself."

How does this help us i asked. Don't you pay any attention is school luke? Aid lilac in her deep sumerset tone And obiwan says you will learn in time and shows us the lightsabers. This luke was your fathers says obiwan commandingly.

And then obiwan gives me mine, this one belonged to your father Lilac, count dooku. Omgosh i said loudly shocked. My daddy was a sexy sith lord !11

Both of you have a history with this war, and with each other. Obiwan said in a deep and loving tone.

Find out more next time lol

**Chapter 2: But I was going to Tosche Station…**

I was uber sad that my aunt and uncle were dead (but not their Ewoke lover becuase Fuck lucas! And not in the way my aunt and bunkle did but like in a hateful spiteful way. I mkean they did fuck george in that way but it was just pretend. man , adult smex is weird!11!). It was ok though bexcause lukes' aunt and uncle were also dead so we got to go to Tosche station (luke wanted to pick up some power conveters but I said I could convert his power into sex. He he lol.(

We went in my awsome sand crawler thab I got for my birthday and we listerned to the tragically hip: looking for a place to happen [remix]. My aunt and ewoke hated the hip because they ware racist to canadians. My uncle like them cause he only hated sand people because they were terrorist! In their long robes and wrapped heads. Uncle sometimes went on about a place called Isreal I dont now why? Some sand people seemed nice …

When we got to a millitary check point. Oh i forgot what i was wearimng.

Lilac was in a long sand people coloured bathrobe witha john lennon teeshirt and david bowie pants. She even had the codpiece.

The Ewan McGregor said "this is not the incredbly attrative preteens you are looking for".

The _Sturmmann_ retorted "but are those the droids we ar5e looking for?"

And Obi said "are what"

The storm Tropper said "the droids we are looking for?"

"I wouldn't say so" spoke softly obi wan in a yell!

"So you would say: these are not the droids you are looking for?" ask the _Sturmmann_

"Yes" said ewan.

Frustrated the tropper asked "can you say the thing so we can move on from this bit?"

"Another happy landing!" said obi wan.

"Just go" spoke the _Sturmmann._

And we went on.

When we got to the bar Obi wan said to be careful so I went for A drink.

Lilac ordered a virgin (he ha she wasn't) appletini with extra tini when a Aqualish grunted at her. "He doesn't like you" said a hideously deformwed man.

"Thats okay" I sai-

"I don't like you either" said the man.

"I can make you both like me" I smiled "I could make you both Love me" I said sexductivly. The man and Aqualish smiled and we went into the bath room where we had awsome deformed man and aqualish sex. Better than luke who wasn't very sexperinced. I took the Man's uretha into my mouth as the Aqualish fuck me in the bum with his… chin butt Thing? But it was still amazing even If I din't know half the things we were doing to each other.

The a gross smelly smuggler, Eugh, walked in on us. AND IN THE MENS ROOM TOO1! I'd expect that kind of the from Daria in space math class but not the well upstanding and civilized patrons of Mos Eisley's.

With the mood ruind I walked out of the mens room to see luke skywalker cutting himself to the strippers. How could this day get any worse I asked? Well that dirty nerf herder shot someone and Obi wan thought "yes! This is the man I want to take us to alderaan."

Tune in Next week where I meet Han solo and maybe I fall for him maybe (the answer to that is no, But chewy is really really hot".


End file.
